Chapter 4
Another Dread Pirate Roberts (part 2)
“These are marvelous,” Westley said, looking at the array of swords along the walls and scattered on tables. “Did you craft them all?”
Inigo thumped down into a chair. “Craft, craft, what know I of craftsmanship? These are sharp paperweights.” Looking into the distance, he took a disgusted swig of wine. “Domingo Montoya. There was a craftsman.” He smiled, lost in thought.
“These,” he motioned with the bottle, “are not even fit for Yeste.” He took another swig.
“Come now.” Westley picked up a sword and felt it. He frowned. “Hmm,” he murmured, and slowly put it back down.
“You see. I have no skill with a blade but one,” Inigo said, dejected. “I try so many things…” He pointed at Westley. “You, my friend. You can do anything.” He slowly drained the last of the bottle. “I cannot even spin myself a tunic,” he said, and hurled the bottle into an adjacent room.
“Is that what litters your courtyard? The graves of former hobbies?” Westley asked.
Inigo nodded. “I retired here and thought ‘This is not so bad.’ I had chests of money, food by the wagon, but…nothing.” He rose partially out of his chair. “I had nothing. You hear me?”
“Well, what about friends? You have me, you have Fezzik.”
“Ah, Fezzik.” He sat again and smiled. “It has been a long time, my friend. No, Fezzik is dead.”
The girl stopped reading. She blinked.
She put her finger to the page and reread that last line, Fezzik is dead.
“No, he can’t be.”
She slammed it shut, jumped out of bed, and ran down the stairs three at a time before coming to a slide in front of her father.
“Fezzik is dead?!
Her father looked up from his book. “I told you you weren’t going to like it.”
“How can Fezzik be dead? He was my favorite character! I’m…augh!” She paced around the room. “Why would they kill Fezzik!?”
“I didn’t write it.”
Westley was astonished. “Fezzik is dead? How? Where?”
Inigo seemed lost in thought. Eventually he scratched his head and answered, “To tell you the truth, I never found out all the details. They mostly don’t speak our languages there, you know. I was only really able to discern that he drowned.”
“Where did this happen?”
“I never told you?”
“Not remotely.”
Inigo got up and retrieved two goblets, poured some wine, and handed them to Westley and Trajan. “I ask them. Well – let me back up. You remember after you bequeathed me the name of –” He glanced at Trajan.
“Don’t worry, he knows.”
Inigo nodded, drinking from the bottle he’d just poured from. “Well, after you left us, Fezzik and I sail many leagues, maybe a year, maybe more. Ah, it was a wonderful – sea battles, fencing matches, feats of strength. Those were good times…” He trailed off into thought, and Westley and Trajan waited in silence.
“Inigo?” Westley finally prompted.
“Yes, yes.” Inigo scratched his bushy salt-and-pepper beard. “Fezzik, you know, he never took much to the pirate life. Most of the time he didn’t even really fight, just gave a good shout once in a while. He never liked hurting people unnecessarily. Well, you see, all the crew, they get a little tired of doing all of the fighting and Fezzik always getting all he could eat. It’s not like we ever wanted for food, but you know there is a degree of fairness, and so I see their point. I was facing mutiny. But I figure, you know, Fezzik and I could always take them all out if it came to that. But then we happened upon this lovely island in the pacific. The people were very large. The women too, very large. Fezzik, he was in heaven.
“He decided to stay. It was very hard for me, but I figure, it’s a nice place. The next year I visit, he was married with a baby on the way. The next year, he was a magistrate of some kind. It was a good situation, and they have the most lovely nuts there. Quite delicious. But then…” Inigo’s voice changed. “Then word reached me that he was killed.”
Westley saw a vengeful look come over his friend’s face. “I went full sail to that island to take my vengeance on his killer. We made port, I jumped off the ship, pulled out my sword, and pointed at the first person I saw and screamed, ‘Where is Fezzik!! What happened to Fezzik!!’ She didn’t speak my language so she just pointed inland. I went on and threatened another person. ‘What happened to Fezzik?’ I’d ask, and every person just pointed away. Eventually I made my way to his widow’s home, lovely villa, and as soon as she saw me, she cried and cried, hugging me and saying welcome back and offering me food, until eventually I accepted – they really know how to cook, those people. Believe me, if you ever get invited to a Polynesian wedding, you go. They have the best food.” He trailed off again, smiling.
“Inigo?” Westley prodded. “Fezzik? How did he die?”
Inigo shrugged. “She was too upset to talk about it.” He stood and leaned against a pillar. “All I could get was that there was a battle. The enemies were killed, Fezzik drowned.” Inigo took a long draft, emptying the second bottle, then tossed it in the same room as before.
“Well,” Westley offered in a hopeful tone, “It’s good to hear he has a family to keep his legacy. What about you, now? Any lady, any children around here? Do tell me you don’t live here all alone.”
“Why would I want children, just so that I should be killed and my child would have to dedicate his life to a blood oath of avenging me? It is a vicious, never-ending cycle of heartache and revenge.” Inigo looked at Trajan. “What is your story?”
Trajan gulped his wine. “I’m, um, here to avenge my father…killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts.”
Inigo looked at Westley. “You see what I mean.” He unsheathed his sword. “Okay, let’s get on with it, then.” Trajan’s eyes got wide. “Um, what?”
Come back next week to see how Trajan fares in his first duel…against Inigo Montoya.
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Previous episodes:
Prologue:The Daughter / Chapter 1: Trajan (part 1)
Chapter 1: Trajan (part 2)
Chapter 2: Miracle Max, retired (don’t even ask) (part 1)
Chapter 2: Miracle Max…retired (don’t even ask) (part 2)
Chapter 3: A Dread Pirate Roberts (part 1)
Chapter 3: A Dread Pirate Roberts (part 2)
Chapter 4: Another Dread Pirate Roberts
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