Follow your dreams. Don’t let silly things like love get in your way.
That’s a message that undoubtedly plays well in the screenwriting rooms in New York and Los Angeles – La La Land, as it’s sometimes called.
La La Land, where the budding actress rejects the flawed but passionate loyalty of the man who adores her to become the movie star she always dreamed of.
La La Land, where the sexy jazz musician finally gets his own club, where after-hours crowds flock to soak in the lamentations seeping from his piano…night after night after lonely night…
Successful artists! Los Angeles! La La Land!
Garbage.
I didn’t pay $1.87 on a Redbox just to see a couple of
self-absorbed people in a self-absorbed city realizing their emotionally detached
dreams at the expense of true love. That may be the norm in ambition land
La La Land, but it’s not heartwarming or entertaining. I want to see people
rise above the culture surrounding them, to prove everyone wrong, to make the
true sacrifices and find a better reward for it.
La La Land, you had so much potential. I’m sorry they did this to you, you deserved better.
But it really was a great movie. Was. For two hours of its two-hour and eight-minute running time it was practically perfect. The dance numbers were creative and visually stunning. The story was relatable, raw, and infuriating at times but also satisfying…so long as we get that happy ending we deserve. But we didn’t.
So, let’s keep everything up until that two-hour timestamp and replace those last eight minutes. Shall we?
The Nerd Cut: La La Land
“There are a lot of jazz bars in Paris.”
Mia and Sebastian look at the palm trees swaying in the wind above Griffith
Observatory. “I’ve never seen this view in the daylight.”
Five years later…
We watch Mia finishing a glass of wine at a fancy restaurant across from three fawning movie producers. They pick up the tab for dinner and thank her for agreeing to star in their upcoming movie. As she leaves the restaurant, she absorbs smiling glances from starstruck patrons. Mia smiles in humble flattery, exits, and is escorted into a waiting vehicle.
She checks the time on her phone, dials up a young lady. A babysitter with a sleeping four-year-old on her lap answers with a whisper, “Hello.”
“Hey. How is she doing?”
“Great. She fell asleep just a little bit ago.”
“Do you mind staying another hour or two?”
“Not at all. Go ahead, we’re fine.”
“Thank you so much.”
Mia hangs up. Her driver asks from the front seat, “Back to the house, mama?”
Mia looks out the window, smiles. “No.”
The car pulls away.
Sebastian takes a large swallow of whiskey and slowly sets it on the piano. He plays fast and the band follows his cue. The lively jazz bar is filled with an enthusiastic crowd.
On the street outside, Mia’s driver opens the door for her. She steps out and is recognized by the club’s doormen who tap each other pointing her out. They nod as she walks past them, obviously starstruck. She descends into the club where Sabastian is finishing the set.
He rises to introduce his band, starts to speak but then notices Mia and is lost for words. He smiles, and bows toward her. “Welcome to Sebastian’s,” he says, then sits at the piano and begins a slow tune.
Just like in the previous version, the viewer is transported
to a quick montage of Mia and Sabastian’s history, which culminates in her
audition that landed her the breakthrough performance in Paris – but this time,
the following happens:
With music and no words, we learn that Sabastian turned down a jazz offer to
accompany her. Mia shines in Paris and Sabastian struggles with his own efforts
in her shadow. She wins awards and roles, gets pregnant, and they marry. They
have a beautiful star-studded life but argue about career priorities,
parenthood, and fame.
Silhouette images of Sebastian being offered work in New York.
They independently seek divorce counsel.
A little girl is almost lost between them.
The final shot is of them approaching the doors to a divorce courtroom from opposite angles, the little girl in the arms of a nanny off to the side with her hand over her eyes. Mia and Sabastian face one another, and the clerk opens the doors to the courtroom with a judge in the distance.
Back in the present, Sebastian finishes his song. The crowd applauds and Sebastian watches Mia, visibly moved but not clapping. He thanks his guests, leaves the stage, and takes a seat across from her at the table. He starts to say something but just smiles instead and rubs the back of her hand.
“It’s been so long since I’ve heard you play,” Mia says, with watery eyes.
“You should come by more often. I’m here every night. Almost.”
Mia smiles. “I know.”
There is a quiet tension. Sebastian takes his hand away. “Want to hear more?”
Mia turns to the side. “No.”
She rises to leave but turns to him and offers Sebastian her left hand, inviting him to join her. A wedding ring is visible.
A look of uncertainty washes over Sebastian and he looks toward his band, then back at Mia. He taps his knuckles on the table, looks at her, takes her hand and rises to leave with her.
The driver opens the door for them, and he and Sebastian share a look of curiosity before slowly nodding to one another. Seated together in the back of the car, we hear the driver speak.
“Good evening sir. Finishing a little earlier than usual tonight.”
“Yes, Philip.”
“Where would you like me to take you folks this evening?”
“Home,” Sebastian takes Mia’s hand. “Take us home please, Philip. And please head home early yourself afterward.”
“Very well, sir. And thank you.”
Sebastian lays his hand on Mia’s knee, his own wedding ring visible.
[Music plays]
The End.
Check out the previous Nerd Cuts:
The Nerd Cut: The Terminator Franchise
The Nerd Cut: Avengers Endgame
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