“He’s got to follow his own path. No one can choose it for him.” – Princess Leia Organa
When I was nineteen years old I moved to Alaska; a place I’d never been to, and knew almost nothing about. I had no job prospects, no friends, and a mere $800 in my pocket. It was also the middle of winter and I had never lived near the cold. As Tony Stark might have said:
When I stepped out of the airport I was hit by zero degree wind. My nose hairs froze for the first time. I loved it. I knew I had found my place in the world.
Today is our oldest son’s eighteenth birthday. It looks so much different than I had pictured it, because he is so much different than I was. In many ways, he is light years ahead of where I was at that age. In others, he’s got greater challenges, but he will overcome them. I don’t know how. Heck, I don’t know how I will overcome tomorrow’s challenges in my own life. But I know The One who provides for all of our needs, and so does my son.
In raising him I’ve always tried to provide principles rather than assets, or even experience. Money will come and go, and he will learn like we all do – from hard experience, good and bad. But if we have proper foundational principles, we can always find our way regardless of the circumstance. We can succeed with little or much, in storms or in peace.
My way differed greatly from my father’s. In many ways I pray my son’s path is nothing like my own, at least not the first part of his journey. While I hope he has a sense of adventure (and he does), the ramifications of poor decisions affected me – and my wife – for years to come. I wish I could spare him that.
What I’ve learned today is that as parents we can teach, and instruct, and discipline, and protect for only a little while. That part is now over. Another chapter begins. Many people call this stage a launch. I’ve come to disagree. A launch presupposes a destination, and a plan to carry out the voyage, often with intense scrutiny over minute logistical details. Maybe that applies for some parents. Not for us.
For me, and for my son, it’s different. He may or may not have a plan. It’s possible he’s mapped out the process. Or, he may end up winging it, as I sometimes enjoy doing. Either way, I know he has the tools and he’s been instructed how to use them.
For me, it’s more akin to an un-tethering. When an object is tethered it isn’t going to go far. You can see it, and always pull it back if you choose. Untethered objects can choose a course on their own power. They can choose to remain near their source, or journey on. Untethered beings choose their own path…and no one can choose it for them.
